Even though Americans are marrying older, the divorce rate has remained high, a new government report shows.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention researchers found that the median age for women getting hitched for the first time has risen to almost 26 and to over 28 for men.

Among women there was just a 52 percent chance that a first marriage would survive for 20 years, according to the report from the CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics. Men appeared to be slightly more successful, with a 56 percent chance of a first marriage surviving for two decades.

The older marriage age doesn’t mean that people aren’t getting into relationships – they’re just choosing to live together instead.  “There’s been a real rise in the prevalence of cohabitation,” said the report’s lead author, Casey E. Copen, a demographer with the National Survey of Family Growth at the National Center for Health Statistics.

The percentage of women living with a partner (as opposed to marrying him) has nearly quadrupled from 3 percent in 1982 to 11 percent in the newest survey. The earlier surveys included data only from women so the researchers couldn’t look at whether there had been a change in the rate at which men were choosing to live together rather than to marry.  

The new report includes information from 22,682 Americans between the ages of 15 and 44 who were interviewed in their homes between 2006 and 2010. The researchers also had data from six earlier surveys dating back to 1973 to compare with the new information.

One intriguing finding from the study is that more highly educated people wedded later -- and had longer lasting marriages. Copen and her colleagues found that 78 percent of women with at least a bachelor’s degree had made it to their 20^th anniversary as compared to 41 percent of women with only a high school diploma. Similarly, 65 percent of college educated men saw a 20^th anniversary as compared to 47 percent of the men who hadn’t gone beyond high school.

That falls in line with other new research showing that blue collar folks are less likely to get married than their white collar counterparts, Copen said. “Research has shown that there’s a socioeconomic divide between those who marry and those who don’t,” she added. “People may be more likely to transition to marriage when they feel more economically stable.”

The researchers also found that the lack of a marriage certificate isn’t keeping people from having babies. “A lot of women and men have children while cohabitating,” Copen said.

So, did the new report shed any light on what it takes to stay married? Maybe - depending on how you interpret the results.

For one thing, if you want to stay hitched, you probably shouldn’t choose someone who’s gotten divorced. Looking only at first marriages, just 38 percent of women who chose to wed a divorced man were still married by their 20^th anniversary, as compared to 54 percent of those who wed a man who’d never been married.

Another possible predictor of a shortened wedded bliss: marrying someone who already has kids. Looking only at women in a first marriage, just 37 percent of those marrying a man with kids made it to their platinum anniversary as compared to 54 percent of those who wed a man with no children.

Still, children may indeed be the glue that keeps people together – if they’re conceived and born after the couple marries.

Among women who remained childless just 50 percent reached their platinum anniversary as compared to 77 percent of those who bore children at least 8 months after getting married.

In the end, the report may be telling us something good about the way Americans view marriage.  

Although women are taking longer to decide to get hitched, they are still doing it at about the same rate as they were back in 1995.

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Who is the first to say "I love you"? Surprise, surprise, it's the guys.

By Emily Sohn
Discovery

For many relationships, there is a single moment that marks a major turning point toward either a future of togetherness or one that splits into separate roads. And that moment usually involves three little words: "I love you."

In books and movies, this simple sentence may seem full of mystery and romance. But a new study suggests that science and evolution may help explain who, in the real world, declares love first and how each partner feels when he or she hears it. Many of the results defy stereotypes.

Even though most people think that women are the romantics in a relationship, for example, men most often say "I love you" first. And most people are happier to hear those words after having sex with their partners than before -- except, that is, for playboys on the prowl for short-term hookups, who prefer to hear it beforehand.

To explain their results, the researchers invoke a time when sex inevitably meant the possibility of pregnancy. It would make sense, in that context, for women to be more cautious about expressing love and more skeptical of declarations about a man's feelings for them.

If those instincts persist in the modern age of birth control, the findings may also offer advice for singles navigating today’s dating scene.

"If somebody is saying 'I love you' before sex happens, it probably does pay to be a little more skeptical about it," said Josh Ackerman, a social psychologist at the MIT Sloan School of Management in Cambridge, Mass.

"There are all of these underlying factors that go into this kind of thing that we think is very amorphous and can't be quantified, which is love," he added. "In fact, there are these very specific forces on the willingness to say love and how you feel when people say 'I love you.'"

Social psychologists have long known that men tend to express love first in relationships, even though public perception is just the opposite, and the new project started by confirming those assumptions.

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In surveys of 45 people who walked by a street corner, Ackerman and colleagues found that 65 percent of people believed that women usually said, "I love you" first in relationships, while 85 percent believed that women were the first to develop serious feelings.

But two subsequent studies, in which people who ranged in age from their mid-20s to their 60s reflected on their current or most recent relationships, showed that men actually declare love first about 70 percent of time.

In a series of three follow-up studies, people responded to questions about how happy it made them to hear declarations of love. Some imagined being in a fictional new relationship. Others had actually just been told "I love you" for the first time in a relationship in the prior week. Their answers revealed a range of nuances.

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If the couple had not yet had sex, for instance, men generally were happier to hear the three little words than women were, the researchers reported in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

After sex, women in particular feel a boost of happiness, Ackerman said, supporting the theory that women tend to prioritize a relationship after pregnancy is possible. Men who were generally interested in long-term relationships were also happier to hear that women loved them after sex than before.

"If someone says 'I love you' after sex, it's a better indicator of how they are actually feeling," Ackerman said. "There is no ambiguity that they are trying to get something else out of it."

The biggest outliers were men who tend to go for short-term flings. For them, happiness dipped upon hearing that the women they had just slept with loved them. Being told they were loved before sex, however, made them truly pleased.

The results suggest that evolutionary impulses may drive people to play dating games, even when their emotions feel genuine on the inside, said Douglas Kenrick, a social psychologist at Arizona State University in Tempe.

"A lot of the ways that evolution influences us don't ever enter the level of consciousness," Kenrick said. "People won't say they like chocolate because it had benefits for our ancestors. They just say they like it. We do what feels right, whether or not people are consciously playing the game."

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The more attractive a man finds a woman, the better he thinks his chances are, according to the inexplicable findings of a new study.

Consider Howard Wolowitz and Rajesh Koothrappali.

They may be fictional characters on a popular sitcom, "The Big Bang Theory," but new research suggests there’s a lot of truth in how they interact with women.

Wolowitz is a teeny guy with dorky hair and dorky clothes. He’s brilliant and gainfully employed, but on the attractiveness scale, he’s maybe a 2, possibly a 2 ½. Despite his physical shortcomings, though, he imagines every hot woman who glances his way wants to jump his bones. Of course, he’s always wrong.

Then there’s his buddy Raj, a pretty nice-looking guy once you get past his haircut. But he’s so insecure around women he can’t even talk to them unless he’s drunk.

What’s the deal?

There are "tons" of studies that show men think women are interested when they’re not, says lead author Carin Perilloux, a visiting professor at Williams College. But her study, which will be published in an upcoming issue of Psychological Science, found that not all men do. And surprisingly, it appears that the dorky, less attractive guys are more likely to think they’re babe magnets than their more attractive counterparts.

Perilloux was an unattached graduate student at the University of Texas when she decided to look into how men perceive women’s level of sexual interest and vice versa. She and her coauthors enlisted the help of about 200 straight undergrads, split evenly between the sexes, with an average age just shy of 19.

The researchers asked each of their subjects to rate their own attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 7. The students then had three-minute one-on-one conversations with five members of the opposite sex, a setup the scientists describe as "speed meeting." (The goal wasn’t to get a date, because some of the participants already were involved with people outside the study.) After each conversation, they rated the other person’s attractiveness and sexual interest.

The more attractive the woman was to the guy, the more likely he was to overestimate her interest in him, researchers found. And it turns out, the less attractive men (who believed they were better looking than the women rated them) were more likely to think beautiful women were hot for them. But the more attractive guys tended to have a more realistic assessment.

And the women? Perilloux and her coauthors found that women underestimated men’s sexual interest.

Believe it or not, this all probably makes sense from an evolutionary perspective, the scientists say. Attractiveness is linked to fertility, so if guys keep hitting on hot women, they’re bound to score occasionally and father sons who act the same way. Those attractive men don’t have to try as hard. As for the women, their underestimation of guys’ sexual interest might help prevent them from developing a reputation as a slut

Of course, if men and women were more explicit about their level of interest, they wouldn’t be so confused, Perilloux points out. But it’s unlikely either sex is going to use the line "hey, I’m 75 percent interested in you."

So here’s Perilloux’s tips: "For men, the best piece of advice is to be more cautious if you’re interested in someone." For women, she says, save the flirting for guys you actually are interested in sleeping with. "Men seem to take any flirtatious signal and run with it."

Readers, this is basically the plot of some of the most frustrating rom-coms over the years. Which cinematic pairing did you find most unbelievable? Will Ferrell and Zooey Deschanel in "Elf"? Seth Rogan and Katherine Heigl in "Knocked Up"? Tell us on our Facebook page.

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If you are looking for romance, is it better to have a hot or homely wingman (or wingwoman)?

We got to wondering because a study of guppies – yes, little fish -- out this week in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B, showed that when females don’t want attention from males, they hang out with especially sexy females (in guppies, sexy means “willing to have sex”).

Basically, when guppy gals aren’t in the mood, they surround themselves with hot-to-trot pals, so they get some peace.

But does the same hold true for humans?

There’s not a lot of evidence, but our perception of others has a lot to do with the company they keep.  It’s all a matter of relativity, according to research conducted at Stirling University in Scotland. 

In a study released this month, scientists there found that when men were asked to rate the attractiveness of a target woman who was paired with a more attractive woman, and were told the two women were friends, the men thought the target woman was less desirable.

Other research shows that men probably don’t want a wingman at all. Instead they should hang with Elisabetta Canalis.

Researchers at California State University, Fullerton, found that women test subjects rated men as being more attractive when the guys were surrounded by other women than when the guys were depicted alone or with other men.

It’s like that old Seinfeld episode where George shows off a picture of a model that came in his new wallet, claiming she’s his dead fiancé. Suddenly, he’s invited to a secret nightclub full of models.

Something called “mate-choice copying” may be at work. In nature, when females of many species see a male having sex with other females, they appear to regard him as a catch, sort of like crowd-source book reviews. If you think lots of others liked it, then it must be good.

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If you were taking contraceptive pills when you met your husband, you may have a happier marriage. But your sex life might be meh.

Ladies, if you feel your partner is a great provider -- but meh in the love-making department -- it may have something to do with your birth control.

Women who were taking contraceptive pills when they met their significant other were more likely to stay in the relationship than women who weren’t on the Pill, according to new research. While the partners of the non-Pill taking women tend to be more handsome and better in the sack, their relationships just didn’t have the same staying power.

Good-looking and sexy or dull and nice. Seems there's always a trade-off when it comes to love.

The study was posted online Wednesday by the Proceedings of the Royal Society B.

Scottish and Czech scientists asked 2,500 women who were the biological mothers of at least one child about the father of the child and their relationship with him (not all the couples were married). And they also asked about the birth control they used when they met. The women were told only that the study was about their experiences of pregnancy and children and their relationship satisfaction.

Previous research has shown that hormonal variations over the menstrual cycle affect how women size up men as mate material. For example, studies have shown that women prefer more masculine men during ovulation than at other times of the month -- because the more macho, the more successful he is as a breeder.

Because the Pill smooths out those hormonal variations, researchers suspected that a muscle-bound hunk might not turn users' heads as much as a nice, average-looking guy with a steady job. And that's pretty much what they found. Women who'd been taking contraceptive pills when they met their partner were more likely to still be in the relationship. And while they rated their partner's body lower in attractiveness than women who hadn't been on the pill, they rated his "financial provision" more favorably.

"Our results show some positive and negative consequences of using the pill when a woman meets her partner," psychologist Craig Roberts of the University of Stirling in Scotland, said in a statement.

Other research by Roberts has found that oral contraceptives can also alter women’s preferences for men’s body odor. On the Pill, they gravitate toward the odor of men who are more genetically similar to them. But off the pill, they’re attracted to the odor of genetically dissimilar men when they’re ovulating.

“Women tend to find genetically dissimilar men attractive because resulting babies will be more likely to be healthy,” Roberts said in the release. “It’s part of the subconscious ‘chemistry’ of attraction between men and women.”

Because contraceptive pills smooth out those monthly hormonal variations, Roberts and his coauthors suspected Brad Pitt might not turn users’ heads as much as a nice, so-so-looking guy with a steady job. And that, pretty much, is what they found.